Hi I’m Alex, I’m a divorced father of two running an “AI Startup”, and I’d like to be your unlicensed therapist (please).

Most of my life I’ve spent struggling to understand what was wrong with me, and chasing the love and acceptance I could never give myself. My severe (and largely un-diagnosed) ADHD didn’t make things easier, but the majority of my issues came from good old fashioned generational trauma and Christianity just like you. Through some grit, shameless ambition, and a lot of luck, I created a life for myself that on paper most white suburban dads would trade their sexless marriages for (which ironically I soon did), and I tried all the best drugs. But by age 31 (shortly after my son was born) I was ready to check myself into a psych ward, I felt completely hopeless and paralyzed by my constant anxiety and deep depression. Through my son’s love I found the strength to begin therapy.

Nearly 7 years later therapy and the pursuit of mental health have become my life’s passion, through it everything I do and who I am has changed. Had my entire identity not been smashed to bits, I would probably still be trying to hide my pain and misery by constantly reflecting on how fucked up the world and everyone else around me was. Like a drunk finally facing 3-5 after crashing his car through someone’s living room window, it felt like a life or death court (or ex-wife) ordered requirement at first. So I showed up, every week sometimes twice out of desperation. And though it wasn’t easy, this pursuit of happiness and self-awareness has been the most painful and frustrating thing I’ve ever done, the small incremental progress started to shake out a level of dedication and aptitude I didn’t know I was capable of. I’ve seen 7 different therapists and psychiatrists, including 2 couples councilors and two in Ireland (if you want to count them, just kidding they’re a lovely people), but I’ve been with Rita for almost 4 years now. She would probably tell you that my sometimes obsessive research and practice outside of our weekly sessions deserve most of the credit for the (in our humble opinion) immense progress I’ve made, but I would be nowhere without her and so many other people I’ve been fortunate to learn from over the years (especially the assholes who showed me how not to live, and there have been a lot).

Today I am so grateful for the life I have, I’ve reached the cliche stage of proud reflection on everything I have overcome and all work I put in, most days I’m truly happy. I still go to therapy every week and though less frequent continue to have major breakthroughs, for now there is still work to be done. Increasingly though, that work is less about my problems and more about my opportunities. For example, though I had reluctantly come to terms with the idea I would be an upper middle class corporate goon for the rest of my life (poor baby), it was through Rita’s support and encouragement I finally decided to pursue my dream of writing.

What I have to offer you is not a clinically researched solution to your problems, I’m a guy from Detroit with a fucked up sense of humor who outsources jobs to India for a living. I’m here to make complicated therapy and psychology concepts relatable and actionable through my tragic life lessons and until now unrealized literary genius (and I’ll be damned if I don’t make someone piss their pants laughing in the process). I’m not a professional research scientist, but I do have a neurotic Adderall fueld Wikipedia addition and a knack for relating Freudian concepts to e.g. the time in 3rd grade I shit my pants in my Uncle’s suburban after eating too much Geno’s East Pizza and the the ensuing psychological trauma. Don’t be fooled, I’m also here for purely selfish reasons, writing makes me feel good, and the idea that anyone might take 5 minutes to read something I have to say makes me feel good too. The idea that what I have to say will actually help people feels more ambitious, but I’ve learned to stop listening to the voice that says my ideas are crazy (maybe that was just my ex-wife, BOOM! I’m kidding she’s great). I still struggle to manage anxiety and depression, my incessant ADHD symptoms, and my ever evolving post-divorce identify (thankfully I’m through my dating polyamorous married women phase, but I can almost guarantee something just as random and exciting is on the horizon). But I’m in it for the long-haul, and I hope you are too.

Peace and love,

Alex